As soon as we started this blog, I had a strong feeling a post like this was going to happen. I’ve almost come to terms with the fact that it may even become a regular thing. As if our opinions weren’t random enough, now we are going to start talking about Nashville on ABC.
Before I can properly get into the dirty details of my favorite prime time soap opera, we need to address the topic of ABC. I don’t know what they’re the putting in the Kool-aid but I’m totally drinking it. (Also, if you want the disturbing origin of that phrase, here ya go. You’re welcome.) Hello?! Nashville, Revenge, Once Upon a Time?! Erika has also solidified that fact that I need to get caught up on Scandal. That will be happening as soon as I can get my family moved 1,300 miles to Raleigh North Carolina. Ben says ABC is for women, CBS is for old people and FOX is for those born between 1978 and 1993. And NBC? Well, you got rid of 30 Rock so we’re no longer speaking.
Ok . . . Nashville. Based on the responses that I’ve received each time I post something about Nashville on Facebook I think it is time to give the share a proper Unqualified Opinion. So here ya go.
Life Lessons from Nashville on ABC
1. If you want to look younger, simply don’t wear makeup or use product in your hair. Connie Britton is practically 16 in last night’s episode. Hey, all of you other mom’s at school think I’m lazy when I pick up Sam with crazy hair sans makeup! Turns out the jokes on you, I’m just emphasizing my youthful good looks.
2. The only thing better than one pregnancy secret is TWO pregnancy secrets. C’mon we all knew that as soon as Peggy said she was pregnant there would be complications. Poor baby daddies are always in the dark on this show and somehow Teddy is always involved.
3. The Nashville Police Department may need to work on their investigation tactics involving car accidents. How did they NOT know that Rayna was the driver?! Nice job court appointed attorney getting to the bottom of that GIANT mystery. And now the Rayna and Tandy’s mom accident was “no accident”. SHOCKED!
4. Personal Assistants are really, uhhhh, hands-on in Nashville. I’m wondering if they include all of the required services in the employment listings. This is a family friendly blog so that’s all I’m going to say about that.
5. If you are creepy enough to try to get Rory Gillmore to be young forever, then you are far too creepy to date Scarlett. I’m looking at you Avery Barkley AKA Jonathan Jackson AKA Jesse Tuck. Step away from the cute Australian blonde with the questionable yet delightful southern accent. Go hook up with Juliette. We all know that you are going to be the man to finally tame her. At the very least you are the only suitable match that won’t walk all over her or let her walk all over you. (Yes, I did just refer to the 2002 movie based on the book Tuck Everlasting)
6. Speaking of our favorite Australians . . . In case you didn’t know, all you need to start mending a broken heart is a hipster country duet. I could watch an entire episode of Scarlett and Gunnar singing.
7. Even bad girls need love. There is not better way to humanize the evil “pop-country-tart-lett” Juliette than by having , the daughter of her rival crying on her shoulder. Plus by having Juliette reminiscence about maternal memories involving the music of above mentioned rival is a great way to remind the audience that drug-addict mother did die for her daughter last season.
Just never mind the fact that Juliette was trying to boost record sales by capitalizing on Rayna’s tragic accident. Also, will someone please explain the white mullet dress? Sexy angel in front, classy evening gown in back. Apparently, the stylists just can’t get enough of this girl wearing white.